So three months old little Zaina had to go into the hospital for a lung infection. They said it was common for her case. She stayed there for 5 days and did another sonar and that's when the dr. said that the hole in her heart was too big and needs to be patched. And on top of that news, he said that although most cases are done using an inserted wire through the vein "Qas6ara" and insert a sort of round mesh that expands and clamps on the walls of the hole, Zaina's hole was different and required open chest, open heart surgery.
I couldn't imagine the idea of my cute little peaceful girl having her chest opened. There was a moment when I actually found it hard to pull breath.
The Dr. wrote his report and gave it to me to start the whole "3elaj bel5arej" (treatment abroad) procedure. I had to get 4 signatures on it, 2 surgeons and 2 cardiologists, take it to the 3elaj bel5arej dept., make a passport for Zaina, get visas made for her, me, my wife, my mother, the escorting dr. and nurse at the British Embassy, get flight dates from Kuwait Airways, get permission from KWA to put an oxygen tank on board, have the visas get delayed, cancel the flights and get new dates and so on...
Let me just say.. to all the people who helped all the above go faster and the un-used was6at:
Thank you deeply from the bottom of our hearts.
The whole process took 20 days from report to flight lillah il7amd. and the only was6a she needed was her little heart :)
So it was the beginning of il3asher il'awa5er of Ramadan, we just arrived at Harley Street Clinic in the evening straight from the airport by ambulance and the surgeon's assistants came to talk to us and examine her, and the cardiologist did another sonar to confirm the case. They told us they're going to operate the next day in the afternoon. My wife slept with her that night as I went with my mother to the hotel.
The next day they did one more sonar, and said they'll come for her at 1 o'clock. They came at 3, and I carried her with my wife behind me with the doctors. I almost felt like walking on air and all my surroundings didn't matter apart from me carefully shielding Zaina's head from everything. I put her on the anesthetic's table and felt near outrage at how I was surrendering my girl into the care of these kind but strange men. Only remembering the total power and dominion of Allah over her life and everyone else's was what calmed me. Me and my wife kissed her forehead and shed involuntary tears and left.
My wise mother took my wife to Oxford St. to take her mind occupied and her feet moving. While I stayed in the hospital room waiting for any news. I couldn't think of anything to do other than to just start praying. So I prayed a while, reading all of the little Qur'an I knew. Then I took out my mini-Qur'an and read from it. Then standing up after rokoo3 I lifted up my hands and just started praying and asking God to save her with such hot and fervent pleading that I only felt in my darkest hours. I only knew how humble and helpless I was with nothing to offer my little girl but my pleading for Allah to save her. So I did with abandon. I cried and I felt then that this total helplessness was correct, not only for me, but for all people. But we just tend to be oblivious to it most of the time.
I asked Allah to save her and to make her a good and pious servant of His throughout her life.
Later I broke my fast on some chips and water from the hallway and then the nurse came for me and took me to see her in the intensive care unit, and told me that the operation couldn't have gone better, and that she's sedated and sleeping, and recovering.
Alf il7emdella ya Rab. Allah said, ask me truthfully, and you shall receive. That moment I had no doubt in that. Inshalla God help us all to never have such doubt, and help us let our selves go and ask for everything. Because only when you do ask, are you truly subservient.